TV’s best and worst couples

These are dark days for television romance. The rise of unscripted shows has diminished the attention, if not the airtime, available to traditional storytelling.

Soapy shows like “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Desperate Housewives” are couple-driven only in a sort of detached, bumbling sense. Investigation dramas like “C.S.I.” and the various “Law and Order” franchises are likewise tough places to find attention given to romantic relationships.

The irritating Valentine season brings out the cold, list-making tendencies of the most determined romantic, so there’s no better time to look at a few of the best and the worst couples television has given us. 

Best Mom And Dad:
Julius and Rochelle, ‘Everybody Hates Chris’
Most romantic when they’re: Yelling. Young Chris’s house runs loud. Pennies are pinched, and there are endless hassles for his put-upon parents. But while the comedy in “Everybody Hates Chris” can be hard-edged and unflinching, the portrayal of Julius and Rochelle leaves no doubt that they adore each other and they adore their kids. They holler a lot — especially Rochelle — but they come back to the family every time.

Best Banter:
Maddie and David, ‘Moonlighting’
Most romantic when they’re: Fighting, obviously. While they’re widely remembered as the textbook lesson in screwing up a show by uniting a will-they-or-won’t-they couple, there is no taking away Maddie and David’s title as the greatest practitioners of lightning-fast banter in prime-time history. There’s a tragic lack of sexually charged jousting on the current landscape, and the paucity of promising heirs to the throne — like last year’s promising but quickly canceled “Eyes” —  makes snappy, sexy dialogue even more dearly missed than ever.

Best Romance That Shouldn’t Have Been:
Mulder and Scully, ‘The X-Files’
Most romantic when they’re: Just friends. Despite the fact that their prospective coupling inspired one of the most determined fan followings of all time, Mulder and Scully were infinitely more compelling before they became romantically linked. The attempt to build sexual tension was the least interesting thing about the show and the relationship. Making out is kind of obvious; what was unique was the portrayal of profoundly connected souls for whom sex was not so much undesirable as largely irrelevant. Their fierce devotion to each other and their unwavering trust was the heart of the show. Waiting around for them to kiss? Eh. Whatever.

Best Geek Love:
Jeremy and Natalie, ‘Sports Night’
Most romantic when they’re: Trading sports facts. One of television’s most disappointingly premature cancellations, “Sports Night” specialized in sharply observed relationships. Among them was the endearing love story between conventionally adorable Natalie and her smarty-pants boyfriend Jeremy. For women who swoon over geeks, Jeremy was the ultimate: smart, cute, shy, dryly funny, and the master of preposterous quantities of trivia about his areas of interest. One babbling speech from him about following Natalie to a job in Galveston, Texas if necessary — going because he loved her, in spite of “the heat and the cattle and the malaria” — represented a high-water mark in the show’s terrific two-season run and showed just how much a nerd has to offer.

Worst Example For America’s Youth:
Dawson and Joey, ‘Dawson’s Creek’
Most unappealing when they’re: Discussing fate. Has there ever been a more ill-conceived notion of “destiny” than the nutty conviction that Dawson carried for years that he and Joey were soulmates of some sort? Dawson was at his most intolerably self-important when declaring his entitlement to Joey’s devotion, and Joey was at her most simpering and indecisive when it came to Dawson. They were boring, they had no chemistry, and the show’s insistence on briefly throwing them together late in the game came off as silly pandering.

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