The castaways’ secret dossiers

NAME: Hurley
ROLE: The Dude abides; keeper of the Numbers.
SPECIAL POWERS: Incapable of weight loss even on a very limited island diet.
DEEP DARK SECRET: If I were a rich man — oh, wait, I am. Doesn’t mean I wasn’t in a mental institution, though.
TOOL OF CHOICE: 4 8 15 16 23 42.
GOOD OR EVIL? If the writers made fan favorite Hurley evil, “Lost” would be the subject of a viewer revolt the likes of which hasn’t been seen since Bobby Ewing showed up in his “Dallas” shower. But just think how juicy things would get after that.
PREDICTIONS: He’ll stay good. He’ll stay fat. And he should stay away from Libby, who may not be as innocent as she seems. If she is a clinical psychologist, is she in Dharma’s employ? Or was she on staff at Hurley’s clinic?

NAME: Sayid
ROLE: Token Iraqi; actual battle-scarred veteran (as opposed to Locke and his military fantasies).
SPECIAL POWERS: Computer repair; transceiver triangulation; light torture.
DEEP DARK SECRET: Nadia’s alive and living in California, and he’s already proved he would betray almost anyone to get back to her.
TOOL OF CHOICE: He’s pretty good with sharpened bamboo. Right, Sawyer?
GOOD OR EVIL? The lone Iraqi, evil? They wouldn’t do that. You wouldn’t want to get on his bad side, let’s just say that.
PREDICTIONS: We’re sure to discover Sayid has more mysterious mechanical skills and random knowledge that will come in handy just when needed. Also, this hunk won’t be single for long. He and Ana-Lucia actually have a lot in common, if he can get past that whole Shannon murder thing.

NAME: Ana-Lucia
ROLE: Good cop, bad cop; leader of the Tailies.
SPECIAL POWERS: Sorting out the bad from the good, with occasional errors. Sorry, Shannon. And possibly Nathan.
DEEP DARK SECRET: She’s been known to shoot first and ask questions later. Oh, wait, that’s hardly a secret now.
TOOL OF CHOICE: Happiness is a warm gun.
GOOD OR EVIL? Depends. How much did you like Shannon, anyway?
PREDICTIONS: She and Jack both served as leaders of half the plane, now they’re finding even more in common. But we’re betting Ana hasn’t quite scratched her itchy trigger finger itch.

NAME: Charlie
ROLE: One-hit wonder from Hobbiton.
SPECIAL POWERS: His constant dreams that Aaron’s in danger have made him a bit of a Cassandra — no one believes him and even if they did, what would they do?
DEEP DARK SECRET: He wants a new drug.
TOOL OF CHOICE: Gee-tar.
GOOD OR EVIL? Quite possibly, Charlie is too stupid to be evil.
PREDICTIONS: His suspicions about Locke getting too close to Aaron may have some merit, but who listens to the Hobbit?

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