Mile-high 'Idol' hopes for all ages

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From eviction to elation
Of course, if Tucker had succumbed to nerves and stunk up the joint, she still would have had plenty of chances to make her mark down the road. Not everyone was that fortunate.

Rochelle Elaine Dye may be the saddest audition story since Regina Brooks pawned her wedding ring to fund her trip to last season's tryouts. Dye said she had been evicted from her home in Kansas, moved to her cousin's house and was about to be evicted again. "I need this. I really do," she said, in what may be the understatement of the year.

Dye got good news — even Simon couldn't find fault with her performance. Of course, Brooks made it to Hollywood last year, but no further. Dye is hoping she has better luck.

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Chris Daughtry also had a long journey to get to Denver. A 25-year-old who married a woman with two children, Daughtry wins the award for having the most supportive wife. After coming up from North Carolina to be with her husband for his audition, she told the cameras tearfully that "I just want his dream to come true. ... I'm so emotional because I just know that this is his chance."

Daughtry sang like he felt the pressure, and the producers milked it for all the drama it was worth by showing only Simon's no vote and Paula Abdul's usual yes. But since they'd already shown the video clips of Daughtry's family back home — and that almost always means the contestant advances — it wasn't surprising when he walked out with the golden ticket hidden under his cap.

A home video was the only indication that Garet Johnson stood any chance at all. The usual audience for this 18-year-old cowboy from Wyoming is a turkey. Literally. He said he'd never sang in front of people before.

Johnson was paralyzed with nerves and struggled to get the nerves out, but the footage doesn't lie. He made it through to Hollywood in the almost-unheard-of 2-1 vote with Paula Abdul providing the no. Apparently the show feels compelled in each city to push someone through with no chance at all of winning.

'Crying' all the way home
Of course, this wouldn't be the auditions if the show didn't provide untalented people to make fun of.

Simon was surprisingly benign, even when contestants were really struggling. His meanest comment was directed at Paula: After a contestant butchered "Rush Rush" he said, "[It's] very rare that I hear something better than the original."

That's probably because most of the rejected contestants were obviously just comic relief. Tiffany Christianson announced, "I'm gonna knock your socks off," and then failed to carry a tune. The judges quickly dismissed Nick "Flawless" McCord, who showed up in a yellow checkered outfit and proved true the old schoolyard axiom that if you have to give yourself a nickname, it doesn't count.

Ben Hausbach showed up with a "Cosmic Coaster," his invention that holds drinks steady a few inches above the table as long as the beverages are perfectly centered and nobody jostles the table. He too was quickly sent packing; maybe telling the cameras that he was hoping to find some new chess partners because he hadn't lost in three years wasn't a good indication that music is the right career. Kelly Clarkson is apparently more of a checkers person.

Countless rockers tried and failed to get the judges' attention, apparently forgetting that in order for Constantine Maroulis and Bo Bice to make it through last year's first stages, they had to leave most of their hard-core edginess behind.

Zachary Travis, however, took the cake. The final auditioner to get airtime, Travis flummoxed all three judges by, well, being a girlish-looking boy who sang a Whitney Houston song.

Of course, he was made fun of and quickly sent home, but even here the meanest person was the show's musical editor, who chose to set Travis' exit to the haunting theme from "The Crying Game."

Craig Berman is a writer in Washington, D.C.

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