Aleta St. James' journey to motherhood

Nothing seemed to faze Aleta St. James— not the waiting, or the disappointments, or the expense. And this process is expensive: Aleta spent almost $40,000 in her efforts to get pregnant. 

After six years of hope and hard luck, pain and perseverance, Aleta St. James was expecting not just one baby— but twins— at 56 years old.

When he heard the news that Aleta was about to become a single mom, her brother, who doubted she would actually get pregnant was stunned.  A first-time parent himself at 50, Curtis Sliwa gave her the same grief he had gotten for having a child late in life.

Curtis Sliwa, brother: I said, “My god, you’re going to be swigging Geritol and taking Ben-gay baths in just a few years when these kids are putting you through the mill in the playground.”

Aleta, who may be living proof that 50 is the new 30, had no intention of slowing down. But by the time the press caught wind of her remarkable story—just a few days before she delivered in November of 2004 —  she was suffering from such intense hip pain, it was difficult to walk.

And while her age created a public hullabaloo, it was not the cause of her intense discomfort, according to her high-risk obstetrician, Dr. Jonathan Scher.

Dr. Jonathan Scher: Her complications were really complications of a multiple pregnancy. Not so much a complication of her age.

On top of the excruciating hip pain, she also developed gestational diabetes, common among older mothers. However, her twins were not at increased risk for chromosomal disorders because of a critical fact: remember Aleta had used donor eggs.

Dr. Scher: No matter what the woman’s age the babies are not really at risk on an age basis because they come from a young woman.

On Tuesday, November 9^th, 2004, Francesca, named after Aleta’s mother, arrived at 9:19 a.m. Her brother, Gian, which means “miracle from God,” emerged a minute later: two healthy babies.

Finally, after seven years of holding on to her vision, Aleta held her children for the first time.  Just three days shy of her 57^th birthday, she was one of the oldest new mothers in the world.

Within 24 hours, she was back on her feet giving a press conference. 

Jeff Christensen / Reuters file Aleta St. James holds her twin babies in New York.

(At the hospital, press footage) St. James: This is something that I really wanted—just to look at these children, and they’re so beautiful.

But not everyone felt this was reason to celebrate.

Katie Couric: Some people have questioned your decision. For example, a prominent bioethicist wrote “If you talk to children of older parents, most will tell you that they worried quite a bit about whether their parents would live to see them graduate from high school. Is it really the case that it’s never too late and that you are never too old to parent?”

St. James: I don’t intend to kind of like wind down and get decrepit. I have a challenge to keep myself going. To eat right. To exercise. And children that have a fear that their parents are gonna die, I’ve heard that from my clients that are 30 years old.

First year of motherhood, and a big baptism
If getting pregnant in her 50s was a test of perseverance, the first year of motherhood was a test of endurance.

She had spent decades living alone with two dogs in a small New York City apartment.  Now, at 57, she was adjusting to the ever-changing rhythms of babies— a full-time nanny, and learning what it means to be a single, working mom. Within three months, the emotional healer was back to coaching her clients.

Couric: Did you ever say, what have I gotten myself into?

St. James: I think there were two days where I was just being financially challenged. And I thought, “God, can I do this? Can I give them the best life that I want to give them? I realized, yes you can. You’ve brought them into the world. There was a reason you got them here. They’re supposed to be here. And you can create it.”

Fireside Click to read an excerpt of Aleta St. James' book.

Two weeks after giving birth, Aleta started writing “Life Shift: Let Go and Live Your Dream,” a guide on how to transform your life by using the techniques she practices as an emotional healer.

St. James: If you let go of how you think things are supposed to happen and you just focus on the essence of what you want—even if it’s losing 10 pounds. And you get the support group and find spiritualities. Find something higher than yourself that you can use as an energy to help you realize your dreams, they will happen.

But is any dream attainable at any age?  Should women in their 50s, who yearn to be mothers, expect to be as successful as Aleta?

Her fertility specialist, Dr. Jane Miller, says no.

Dr. Jane Miller: The moral is not “If you have a dream pursue it you can do it. Because that’s unrealistic and it can hurt many people.”

Couric: Your doctors say they helped you have children because you are “an exceptional woman” and they stress that you are the exception. So how can you encourage women, for example who are having trouble conceiving without giving them false hope?

St. James: You give them everything that they can possibly do to conceive through the energy work, through meditation, through western technology. And then, if at the end of that road they find that this is impossible that they can’t do it, then you say ‘okay what are my options?” You can adopt. You can have a surrogate hold the pregnancy. There’s other ways you can have children. 

SPECIAL REPORT

Couric: Some people might say, “Listen Aleta, you got pregnant because of technology. All this woo-woo metaphysical stuff, but the technology is what enabled a women of your age to give birth to twins.”

St. James: Absolutely, and God bless the technology, and every single time I gave myself a progesterone shot with a needle this big, I blessed it because I knew if I didn’t do it, it wasn’t gonna happen.

But I became pregnant on the second invitro at my age and a lot of women don’t do that.

Couric: So you got lucky.

St. James: I used those energy tools. That’s what I believed happened.

On April 17^th of this year, Francesca and Gian were christened in the Catholic church where Aleta had prayed to get pregnant.

She had invited family and friends, clients and caregivers, to a baptism with one of her signature twists: Aleta had chosen 26 godparents, 13 for each baby, and asked them to bestow a special wish. 

St. James: It was a beautiful ceremony and the priest, Thank God, he just went along with it. It was very moving.

If it takes a village to raise a child, Aleta certainly had created one. Among her supporters, her parents, both in their 80s. They were proud they say of how Aleta had “manifested her vision.”

St. James: I just wanted to have these children. I wanted to give them their dreams. And I’m so glad I did. I’m glad I did it when I was 57 and not 67, cause I have more time to be with them. And when I look at them every single day and I see them growing and developing, it’s like a miracle for me. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.

MORE FROM DATELINE

Dateline Section Front

The Trouble At Twin Wrecks Read diving logs Shelley Tyre wrote The Secret Life of Tiger Woods The Trial of Amanda Knox NBC's People of the Year: Read the interviews The Night Mary Jane Disappeared The Friday the 13th Mystery Mystery at Lost Dog Road Slideshow: Photos in the Bob Duke case When The Smoke Clears Dateline Section Front   Add Dateline headlines to your news reader: