Aleta St. James' journey to motherhood

An elaborate production
Just before her 50^th birthday, Aleta sensed, in her mystical way, that the time had come to bring children into the world. It was an outlandish idea to many, including her  brother.

Now a talk radio host, Curtis Sliwa is no stranger to controversy. 26 years ago, critics scoffed at his bold dream of fighting crime with unarmed volunteers.

Today, the Guardian Angels, which Curtis started small in New York, is a worldwide organization. Still, even the guy who bucked convention, was skeptical about his sister’s vision.

VIDEO Motherhood at 57? Curtis Sliwa talks about the initial reaction to his sister giving birth at 57 years old. Dateline NBC

Curtis Sliwa, Aleta St. James’ brother: In the neighborhood we grew up in, we say, “People like that have all the furniture up stairs and rearranged in the wrong rooms.”  Next you’ll be chasing leprechauns thinking it’ll lead you to a pot of gold so, I really didn’t think there was a possibility.

Katie Couric: Did his reaction make you even more determined? You must have had a lot of naysayers saying, “Sister, you’re crazy... it’s ridiculous, what are you doing?”

St. James: But you know what... I surrounded myself with people that were very supportive.

Her circle of support would balloon during the extreme highs and lows of the next seven years—although, at the start, Aleta had no inkling that having children in her 50s would turn into such an elaborate production.

Even so, she approached having a baby in November of 1997, as if training for the Olympics—from incredibly disciplined thinking to intense physical conditioning with her friend Yamuna, a body therapist.

Instead of a simple one-a-day prenatal vitamin, Aleta’s regimen, under the guidance of Sally Kravich, a holistic nutritionist, involved frequently changing doses and combinations of herbal supplements, protein powders, fatty acids, essential oils, and vitamins A to Z—much like the routine she continues to this day.

To be sure she didn’t miss a thing, Aleta, then 50, also had her blood routinely checked by a former heart surgeon, Dr. Frederick Vagnini, who now specializes in anti-aging, wellness, and clinical nutrition. 

Dr. Frederick Vagnini: She had to do a lot of detoxification and vitamin therapy to get her body in shape.

Still single, Aleta held on to the hope that she would conceive the old-fashioned way. At a nearby Catholic church, she reached out to God, just as her mother and father had, when they were ready to start a family.

St. James: Before they actually created me, she had him say a rosary.

Heaven-sent or not, she soon met someone special who also wanted a baby. With no time to waste, they started trying.  Surprisingly, Aleta, proved she could get pregnant in her 50s. Trouble was, she couldn’t stay pregnant. She miscarried time and again.

Couric: The miscarriages must have been devastating.

St. James: Totally devastating. Totally.

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At 53 years old, she continued to firmly believe that she was destined to get pregnant. Still, the miscarriages weren’t the only major setbacks. By December of 2000, the man with whom she had hoped to raise a family was fading out of her life. Now Aleta, who never imagined herself as a single parent, had to face her biggest fear.

St. James: You could say, “What is the one thing that you don’t want to do?” I would say, “Financially be responsible and emotionally and physically be totally responsible for bringing up children.”

Pushing forward on her own
Even so, not only did she decide to push forward alone, she conceded she needed a boost from science. She sought advice from a well-respected obstetrician, who specializes in high risk pregnancies.   

Dr. Jonathan Scher: She walked into the office and she did say she was on a quest. And she said she wanted to get pregnant and I thought, “Well, that’s not a problem,” except when I heard her age and that was obviously off-putting because we don’t encourage women in their 50s to become pregnant.

Despite his reservations, Dr. Jonathan Scher put Aleta, 53 in March of 2001, through a battery of tests. The results surprised him.

Dr. Scher: Aleta is in better shape, and healthier than many many women much younger than herself.

She may have been healthy enough to carry a baby, but there were serious medical and ethical issues to consider.

Dr. Scher: She was at greater risk of developing high blood pressure, gestational or pregnancy diabetes and there was an increase of birth complications, neonatal death, unfortunately.  But she was made aware of these facts.

But from her perspective, the benefits of nurturing a baby in her body eclipsed all other options.

Couric: Why not adopt?

St. James: Well, I believe everybody has a mission and my mission was to bring children in—that wanted to be in a body that was nutritionally balanced, meditative, emotionally stable, because I believe it has a lot to do with how the child develops.

Couric: You wanted to create the best situation in utero for your kids?

St. James: Totally.

Couric: At the same time your age put them at certain risks?

St. James: But not really, Katie. Because they say high risk pregnancies they could start at 35. 

At Dr. Scher’s suggestion, in September of 2001, Aleta asked a reproductive endocrinologist to consider her case.

Dr. Jane Miller: If things would not have been medically safe, I would have said, “I’m sorry, I cannot help you.”

Dr. Jane Miller did, however, give Aleta, now almost 54 years old, a reality check. Despite her excellent health and regular periods, the number and quality of her eggs were precipitously declining as they inevitably do in women over the age of 35.

Dr. Miller: The biggest obstacle that she had to surmount was understanding that she could not get pregnant with her own eggs or rather it would be unlikely that she would get pregnant with her own eggs.

Quite a bombshell after all her disciplined efforts to preserve her youth. After four years of trying to get pregnant naturally, she had to make peace with the idea of conceiving with cutting edge technology.

St. James: I knew if I didn’t make that decision, let go of how I thought things were gonna be, I would never be able to have my dream.

Using donor eggs
For spiritual strength, in August of 2002, she traveled to fertility temples in India with a Hindu guru.

He performed ancient rituals like this fire ceremony conducted for us in a New York temple.

Infused with new energy, Aleta agreed to try invitro fertilization with donor eggs. As for the male half of the equation, an old friend volunteered, provided there were no strings attached.

St. James: I knew emotionally, I was ready to do it. Because it’s hard going through invitro—it’s not an easy process, you really have to want to have a child.

In September of 2002, a few months before her 55^th birthday, Aleta had two embryos transferred. With donor eggs, she had a 50 to 60 percent chance of getting pregnant.

The first round failed. But, to the amazement of her anti-aging doctor, Aleta refused to give up.

Dr. Vagnini: She went through the process unsuccessfully and it just  took a tremendous toll on her body— she gained weight, she developed joint problems, she had fatigue and she kept going.

Not only did she keep going, she underwent major surgery to remove fibroids that were distorting her uterus, an operation that she had hoped to avoid. Fertility specialist Dr. Miller marveled at how Aleta, now 56, bounced back.

Dr. Miller: Usually, first post-operative day the patient is sitting there, actually lying there, looking awful: “I can’t move, I can’t lift, I can’t go to the bathroom.” I come into the room and she’s sitting up in the bed putting on lipstick and she said, “Hi. When I can go home?” So, I said, “Let’s keep you until tomorrow and then tomorrow second post-operative day you can go home.”

She said, “Ok when are you putting the embryos in?’

Three months later, in March of 2004, Aleta gave invitro another shot. Pumped up on hormones and more positive than ever, she had a strong feeling this time was the charm. But she was also braced to be disappointed again. Two weeks later, on April Fool’s Day, no less, Dr. Miller called.

St. James:  And she said “Hi.” I said, “Hi, what’s cooking?” So she said, “You are very, very pregnant.”  And I just—I couldn’t believe it, but I was so happy, so happy.

Six years after Aleta had set her focus on having children, her dream was within reach. She imagined strolls in Central Park, her first Mother’s Day, a baptism in the church where she had prayed. But the healer would still need to summon tremendous energy for the challenges ahead.

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