Aleta St. James' journey to motherhood

Katie Couric

For seven years, Aleta St. James imagined the day her children would be born. She says she actually felt their spirits long before they were conceived.

She barely had a prayer of getting pregnant in her 50s. But Aleta, who is not an ordinary soul, says she “held the vision.”

On November 9^th, 2004, Aleta St. James became one of the oldest new mothers in history. Her babies finally arrived shortly before her 57^th birthday—a testament to their mother’s incredible focus and determination.

Katie Couric, NBC News: Is it true that you never doubted for once that you would get pregnant?

Aleta St. James: Yeah. 

Couric: So was it “The Power of Positive Thinking,” as Norman Vincent Peale might say? Did that help you?

St. James: It did. And I knew that it wasn’t going to be if, it was going to be when. And if I stayed the course, I was gonna be able to do it.

For Aleta, the road to motherhood was miles off the map—a physical and spiritual quest that stretched from medical clinics in the West—to fertility temples in the East.

If the path to having a baby can be expensive, painful, and risky for those in their 40s, for a woman in her 50s, it promised to be a much steeper climb.

Along the way, people warned her that she could not get pregnant, she should not get pregnant. And, if she did, it would be a selfish act.

Instead, Aleta— who literally built a career on her intuition— trusted her gut.

St. James: There were some people that thought I was crazy and I could never do this, having children at my age, and I wouldn’t listen to them. They’d say, “Well, what are the statistics? You’re like a one percentile. And I’d say, “I don’t live in statistics, I don’t live in a box.” You know, if you tell me I can’t do something, I’m gonna figure out ways that I can if that’s in my heart.

A life out of the box
She didn’t exactly aspire to be one of the oldest mothers in the world. In fact, in her younger days, she imagined having a traditional family. But, as often happens, life unfolded in unexpected ways. 

Couric: What made you want to have kids at such a mature age? 

St. James: Well, I always wanted to have children. It just wasn’t the right time. I felt like I needed to develop myself learning all these different things. And find out who I was. And then I got into teaching and helping other people. 

The daughter of a merchant seaman and a devout Catholic, Aleta was born in 1947, the oldest of three children who were taught to make the world a better place.

Her sister Maria Sliwa became a journalist who reports on human rights violations in Sudan and Uganda.

Brother, Curtis Sliwa, created The Guardian Angels— volunteer crime fighters, distinguished by red berets and the fact that they carry no weapons.

Couric: Obviously, your parents instilled in all of you the importance of being socially-conscious...

St. James: All the time. All the time. It was always about what can you do for others? What can you give back? How can we help this one?

It took some time for Aleta to be enlightened about her own mission— a career so offbeat, it inspires either devotion or disbelief.

St. James:  It’s not a matter of success. It’s not a matter of having money. It’s a matter of how you feel about things and how you see things in an every day life.

Growing up, she thought she was destined to be an entertainer—and even when chasing that dream, she bravely broke new ground. She was 21, in 1968, when she went to Amsterdam to star in the risqué musical, “Hair.”

Couric: How did you explain this nude musical production to your parents back in Brooklyn?

St. James: My mother was totally shocked and I had that moment—to think, “Oh my god, what am I doing?  My mother’s never gonna be able to handle this.” But then I thought, “No this is what I believe in. I believe in freedom, flowers, happiness.”

It was the ‘60s after all. But when Aleta returned to New York, expecting to make it big on Broadway, her carefree spirit hit the skids. Shocked she couldn’t land a part in “Jesus Christ Superstar,” she went searching for ways to deal with the rejection.

St. James: I had to start healing my own insecurities that started to come up from that. I studied how thoughts have a lot to do with how you project yourself out in the world. And if you think negatively that’s what’s going to happen in your life.

She started studying how other cultures nurture physical, mental and spiritual well-being.  Soon, the aspiring actress found herself cast in an unexpected role—that of life coach.

St. James: My friends that were all actors and performers started to come to me because they saw a big shift in my life and I actually got to a place where I was able to help other people release their emotions and get connected to their positive thinking.

In keeping with her family tradition, she shifted the spotlight off herself. By the time she was 28, she had evolved into a therapist of sorts, one that offers much more than talk.

In the New Age world, Aleta St. James would be known as an “emotional healer.” She says she uses psychic power to identify a person’s problems and then through aromatherapy, breath, and meditation, teaches them how to release negative energy with positive thoughts.

Couric: When people hear that, some might think “Twilight Zone.”

St. James: Right.

Couric: What qualifies one to be an emotional healer?

St. James: I’m very intuitive. I can tell where— what’s going on— and how people are feeling. If something happened to them, I’ll actually feel it in my body.

Like many women who came of age during the feminist movement, in the ‘70s and ‘80s, Aleta channeled much of her energy into her career.

For a time, nurturing her clients satisfied her maternal instincts. She wasn’t aching to have a baby, though she says she treated women who were.

Inspired by ancient practices, she used color and light therapy to help women struggling with infertility.   

St. James:  I use orange, which is revitalization.  It deals with the second energy center and the uterus. I use silver which is cosmic mother, which brings in the mother energy, and I use pink for unconditional love.

By the ‘90s, she had made a name for herself as a healer, but her personal life was still a work in progress. Despite her untraditional profession, Aleta had hoped for a marriage like her parents—who just celebrated their 61^st wedding anniversary. But the perfect match had yet to materialize.

St. James: The men in my life were wonderful, but they were very artistic and very creative and they were adventurers like myself. So it wasn’t right to settle down with them.

While holding out for the right guy, she also kept an eye on her biological clock. Determined to prolong her childbearing years, she worked hard to keep herself youthful with alternative therapies like acupuncture.

While other 49-year-olds may have been concerned with menopause, Aleta had faith she  would be able to conceive. After all, her grandmother was 54 when she gave birth to her 13^th child—Aleta’s mom.  So when her desire for a baby started to intensify, she didn’t second-guess it.

St. James:  When I started to get older and I thought, “Well, you know now I’m kinda ready to settle down. And I really want to give to children now.” Because I feel like I’ve done everything that I wanted to do in my entire life. And so I was ready. I was really ready.

Ready, yet even she could not predict the sacrifice, soul searching, and sheer grit that getting pregnant in her 50s would require: Getting pregnant at that age isn't only difficult, it could also be dangerous.

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