The resolutions of the rich and famous

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Name: Michael Jackson
Resolved: To finally buy his own private jet to live on, so he'll never have to establish residence anywhere again. It's been a tough year for MJ — the first half spent in perhaps the most embarassing spectacle of his life, which is saying something, given that we're talking about Michael.

MICHAEL JACKSON
Kimberly White / Pool via Reuters
Sadly, Judge Rodney Melville did not allow Michael to complete his ensemble with a matching handbag.

His trial on charges of sexually assaulting a boy gave prosecutors a chance to comb through every last detail of the King of Pop's thoroughly bizarre life: his cadre of parasitic hangers-on, his stealthy stash of girlie mags, his non-relationship with former wife Debbie Rowe. His acquittal may have marked the end of his legal troubles (for now) but his reputation was shattered.

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So Mike bolted — reportedly to hunt for a site for Neverland II in such remote venues as Bahrain.

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Which resolution will actually happen?

Clearly, returning to these shores doesn't hold much appeal, and it won't be long before Michael's original funhouse is boarded up and sold to any bidder with a cool $10-plus million and a weird "Alice in Wonderland" fetish. (His spokeswoman denies this.)

Slide show
Thrilling times
Click to see pictures from the highs and lows of Jackson's career.
Why be tied down to just one place? MJ should follow the lead of S.R. Hadden, John Hurt's eccentric billionaire in 1997's "Contact." Hadden escaped his many enemies by setting up house on his own luxurious converted jet, and merely hopped from one abandoned landing strip to the next. Not only could Jackson create flying digs with his own personal panache (he could even install the inflatable copilot from "Airplane") but Tom Sneddon will never be able to catch him.

In "Contact," Hadden finally abandoned his airborne digs for a spot on the space station. It's not hard to imagine Michael finding that scenario quite appealing indeed. —Jon Bonné

MSNBC.com lifestyle editor Jon Bonné followed every painful detail of the Michael Jackson trial.

CONTINUED : They love Jen, they really love Jen

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