Behave or else! Unruly kids in public stir debate

updated 10:52 a.m. ET Dec. 6, 2005

CHICAGO - Dan McCauley had seen one too many kids at his cafe lying on the floor in front of the counter, careening off the glass pastry case, coming perilously close to getting their fingers pinched in the front door. So he posted a sign: “Children of all ages have to behave and use their indoor voices.”

To him, it was a simple reminder to parents to keep an eye on their children and set some limits. But to some parents in his North Side Chicago neighborhood, the sign may as well have read, “If you have kids, you’re not welcome.”

That one little notice, adorned with pastel hand prints, has become a lightning rod in a larger debate over parenting and misbehaving children.

“It’s not about the kids,” said McCauley, the 44-year-old owner of A Taste of Heaven cafe, who has no children but claims to like them a lot. “It’s about the parents who are with them. Are they supervising and guiding them?

“I’m just asking that they are considerate to people around them.”

Hundreds of supportive letters
While he has created some enemies in his neighborhood, McCauley has received hundreds of calls and more than 600 letters, the overwhelming majority of them supportive. One letter-writer from Alabama typed out in bold letters: “In my opinion, you’re a hero! Keep it up.”

NBC VIDEO Restaurants enforce child rules Nov. 10: NBC’s Carl Quintanilla reports from Chicago where in some restaurants, kids can be seen but not heard loudly. Today show

It is a sentiment that people feel increasingly comfortable expressing. Online bloggers regularly make impassioned pleas for child-free zones in public, while e-mailers have been forwarding a photograph of a sign in an unidentified business that reads, “Unattended Children Will Be Given an Espresso and a Puppy.”

While it is common policy for upscale restaurants to bar children, owners of other types of businesses also are setting limits on kids.

The Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas, for instance, does not allow visitors who aren’t guests to have strollers; hotel officials say it is to prevent crashes with other pedestrians. The Bellagio Hotel does not take guests younger than 18 without special permission.

Some parents are fine with the limit-setting and complain that too many of their peers take their kids to places traditionally meant for adults, such as late-night movies and rock concerts.

‘How fair is that?’
Robin Piccini, a 42-year-old mom in Bridgewater, Mass., gets annoyed when she has hired a baby sitter for her daughter, only to end up seated at a restaurant next to unruly kids.

“I am paying the same price so that I can have a relaxing dinner, but because there are lazy parents out there, my dinner has to be stressful and tense,” she said. “How fair is that?”

Still, while they agree that some parents push the boundaries too far, other weary parents feel under siege — and misunderstood.

“Don’t get me wrong. As a parent, I have an arsenal that includes the deadly stare, loss of privileges and ‘We’re going back to the car, RIGHT NOW!”’ said Angela Toda, a 38-year-old mother of two small children in College Park, Md. “But the bottom line is, there are certain moments that all kids and parents have — and sometimes your kid is going to lose it in a public place.”

MORE FROM LIFE

Life Section Front

Salahis: ‘We were invited, not crashers’   Jobless face expiration of health benefit   Loneliness can be contagious, new study finds Activist seeks divorce ban in Calif. Party crashers e-mailed Pentagon official Chelsea Clinton to wed next summer Poll: Americans still in giving spirit Aerialist in mall’s ‘Hunky Santa’ show survives fall Divided Senate opens health care debate White House tries to spur mortgage relief plan Life Section Front   Add Life headlines to your news reader: