Topless in Tulum

It's not a good day for Molly, either, who dumps her mountain bike on the rutted, sandy road to the kayaking lagoon, breaking a bone in her hand. She's bummed but doesn't miss a beat--or a single class the rest of the week. She goes home with best wishes from all of us penned on her cast.

If Melissa is tone-deaf to guests who are unhappy with the room shuffle, it's probably because she wouldn't mind staying in any of them herself. A longtime world traveler and backpacker--"I've traveled in Thailand and Bali and India, lots of off-the-map places"--she took vacations in a little cabana without electricity on this beach for eight years before she thought of opening a resort. The idea came to her after September 11, "when I saw people so stressed, running around New York." Her first concept was a referral service, called Spiritual Spa, but eventually she decided to open "a place where you can eat healthy, that has style but is still adventurous. At home you're identified by how many people kiss your butt, where you get your hair cut, what car you drive. Here it's not about what you're wearing or what you do but who you are." With a business partner, Erica Gragg, who now splits her time between Amansala and San Francisco, she launched Amansala in 2002.

"Aman means 'peace,' and sala means 'water' in Sanskrit," Melissa says, adding that she's defended the name against the other Aman, which tried to prevent her from using it. "I trademarked it here in Mexico, and anyway, nobody could come here thinking we're that Aman. One night there costs what a week here does."

It's that tantalizing phrase "Bikini Boot Camp" that ignited Amansala's success. In the winter the resort can be fully booked three months ahead, and its beachcomber interpretation of shabby chic has even begun to draw a celebrity crowd. My group is crushed to find that we missed Jude Law by a week. Past celebs include Benicio del Toro, Armand Assante, Linda Evangelista, and Cindy Crawford, although I doubt any of them were given my room. Now Melissa is expanding her vision: She just bought another property a 15-minute walk down the beach and is working on a book, Bikini Boot Camp: The Mind, Body & Spirit Workout.

Amansala

The fact that the term boot camp is stretching it--the regimen is more stretching than hard-core exercise--hasn't seemed to get in the way of Amansala. The daily routine--sun salutations on the beach, a 16-mile flat-terrain bike ride, 30 minutes of paddling, a late-afternoon Pilates class, with a cardio class called Beach Express tossed in occasionally--wouldn't impress the ex-marine who ran a real boot camp class at Canyon Ranch and had me begging for mercy. Here the fitness classes are well taught--and Erika, who taught most of the yoga classes, is fantastic--but they're not nearly as challenging as some I've taken at resort spas. And the excursions are leisurely.

Of course, unless all you need is a tan, you can't get your body bikini-ready in a week. Nonetheless, Amansala could try a lot harder to live up to its name.

Yet despite the scatterbrained management, the subpar rooms, and the absence of boot camp, everyone in my group (including me) ends up feeling Amansala is an extraordinary experience. Most say they will come back. "I wouldn't have missed this for anything," says Greg. I measure my immersion at the Cancýn airport, where I learn that Camilla and Charles are getting hitched and Carly Fiorina and Hewlett-Packard are getting unhitched. It finally dawns on me how totally, gloriously out of touch I have been.

On the final morning, wearing only bikini bottoms, we slather a golden mixture of local mud, honey, and olive oil all over each other. Then, as we stand together at the edge of the ocean, Melissa leads us in guided imagery--and the occasional beach walker does a cartoon double take. If our bodies were better, this could be a casting call for the Bond girl role in Goldfinger; as it is, we look like Jim Jones's flock just before the Kool-Aid was handed out. When the mud is dry and crackling, we all run into the water to wash it off.

On the flight home, going over the week, I recall a metaphor Melissa used when she was guiding a meditation. "It's like a monkey swinging through a jungle. You have to let go to go forward." Somehow I feel I've done that--and I think everyone else does, too. And I'm so relaxed, confident, and happy that I don't really care how I look in that bikini I brought. Maybe that is the point.

... I'm so relaxed, confident, and happy that I don't really care how I look in that bikini I brought. Maybe that is the point. — Susan Crandell

Enlisting in Bikini Boot Camp
To see the love-hate relationship guests have with Amansala, you need only cruise tripadvisor.com, where the rants and raves run 50-50, with nothing in between. "I have visited Amansala many times and found it a magical place," coos one guest. Under the title "Worst Vacation Ever," another weighs in: "The luxurious touches mentioned on the website were absent, but the mosquitoes were plentiful." If you decide to go, book far in advance and ask for an oceanfront room. "Guests can request a room," says Amansala co-owner Erica Gragg, "but it's on a first come, first served basis." Also confirm that you won't be in one of the shared-bath rooms, and make sure the resort isn't hosting a wedding or photo shoot during your stay.

Rates: A six-night Bikini Boot Camp session runs $1,842, which includes 10 percent tax and 7 percent service charge; the only extras are your bar bill and massage tips. There's a $650 surcharge for a single room. Airport transfers are $125 each way or $215 round-trip. But don't pay in advance; you may be able to share a ride and split the fare.

Phone: 011-52-984-1000-805

Website: www.amansala.com

SUSAN CRANDELL has bungee jumped, skydived, and climbed Kilimanjaro, none of which was as forbidding as going topless at 53.

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